Cafe Teacher's Day

This post dosent mean to show people of different regions in bad light based on their coffee they drink, considering that people are passionate about their coffee. Rather the post is based on the ingredients used in these coffees. It also not meant to be directed against teachers and is just a light-hearted post.

      I remember how on Teacher’s Day special in school our teachers used to take the day off and the school would have a party for them from the money we used to contribute. We used to be in a real huff and puff saying that ‘Why do we have to pay for the party of people who giving us home-work’ not knowing that teachers are the real assets of our society and teaching is not kid’s play. I remember being sent on CR duty when I was in 11^th Std. to handle 2^nd Std. students on Teacher’s Day which I would say was a disaster. But I would say after spending so many years in school and college I have noticed that there are certain types of teachers which you can broadly classify into a few categories.

      Here I have compared the personalities of teachers with a few well known coffees based on their ingredients. This has nothing to do with the region of the coffees and neither is this to show teachers in bad light. So here they are:

Some of the names are in Portugese/Spanish

Key: Leite - Steamed Milk

Chantily – Whipped Cream for Mocha and Milk Foam for the rest

Crème – Cream

Canela – Cinnamon

Run - Rum

·         Espresso: This type of teacher is the one who always expresses himself or you can say is an Expresso. They like to keep the command of things in their hand and are the ones that the students dread the most. Female teachers of this type will have biceps of 14” and may even catch your collar. Although this type of teacher looks mean, he/she will have very little anger from inside i.e. they are rough from the outside but from the inside may be very considerate.

·         Americano: This type has the least knowledge of the subject but knows very well how to dodge questions of students and finish the syllabus without teaching even an ounce about the subject. But they have a very good tact of going on for hours and hours without actually imparting knowledge. So as to say they dilute whatever little knowledge they have and present it in a nice new package to students.

·         Macchiato: This type of teacher wants the things to be done in a set procedure as s/he instructs. They will have a neat time-table of aim-procedure-observation-conclusion and expect everyone to work only according to that. Only they dictate the pace and expect everyone to move along with them. They do not like students who stand aside from the situation and question them with: ‘Why are we doing this?’, ‘Is it necessary?’ and ‘Can we do it that way?’ To this they answer ‘You do how much is asked of you. Don’t try to use your own brain. Understood?’ Some teachers of this type do only what is written in the syllabus point to point and avoid anything outside it. Their main aim is only to ‘Cover the Portion’.

·         Espresso Panna: This type of teacher will be your greatest enemy until you start admiring them for every A-B-C-D they do. They will do all you want if they hear from your mouth that they are good and do good for the students. You can easily maneuver them and get your work done praising them and not letting them know that you are putting them maska.

·         Arabe: These are the young new teachers who want to make a name for them and basically want recognition. For this they put in their extra effort to surpass their peers. People may think that they are showing-off but that’s a very crude word for them because after all it is human to thirst for recognition.

I remember one of our school teachers telling us that he used to set tough papers when he was new in the profession. This was so that people may take notice of him and he may be rewarded for the knowledge he has. But he said that once experience set in he understood that you have to be considerate about students and give them something easy to munch on.

·         Doble/Doppio: This type of teacher will not express like your normal expresso. But will accumulate what they notice about the students and show them a mirror of what they think about the students in their marks. This type is a very formidable force and one whose path you should never cross.

·         Cortado/Leite/Lagrima: You must have seen these teachers in you school years. These types of teachers of teachers come with varying goodness and have varying power to bear the mischief of students. Once the threshold barrier is crossed calamity strikes.

·         Caribenho: They are the ones who always live in the past. They like to make comparisons with themselves and the youngsters today. They will stress on what morals youngsters can learn from their teaching. They will always project today’s generation inferior as compared to them. While teaching too they will use ‘flashback’ technique. They basically think that today’s generation is useless.

·         Cappuccino & Latte: Latte is a person who will always guide the students and will be always present to overlook the progress of kids. They may guide you at each step or may show you the way for you to walk on it. They will try to teach the kids in steps and don’t go in a hasty manner.

Cappuccino is an advanced form of Latte and will work more developing the thought process in kids. It may be by giving students wrong info at times so that they encounter mistakes and learn to get around them by themselves. They will guide you but never spoon-feed you.

·         Breve: This type of teacher is someone who you can call ‘by the people, for the people’. This teacher will totally mix in the students and will work totally for their betterment. Being very friendly in their approach and one with whom we can talk with on the same level like a friend. Some of them may even oppose their fellow teachers in some matters.

·         Mocha: This type of teacher is the one whom we met in school and will never forget. You know like, the very sweet female teacher who treated us like her children (Never getting angry on her students). But if you met such a being, you must have guaranteed taken wrong advantage of the freedom given by them at least once.

·         Submarino: This type of teacher is the usual khayali pulao of the lot. They will always engulf you in their philosophies (half of which you cannot digest or even swallow). While teaching too they will start off with some other topic based on a small word which has no relation with the subject and then talk for hours on it. But one thing about them is they have very deep knowledge of the subject they teach (U can say they submerge themselves in the ocean of knowledge and are still thirsty for more). They always believe that the thirst for knowledge ends only when life ends.

·         Irlandes: The moodiest of the lot is this type of teacher yet not as deceptive as Amaretto. Their mood swings without caution and all you can do is anticipate the right time to approach them. They will be very good one instant and shower you with graces and then turn into a hurricane the next instant. So, handle with care because the progress you do under them depends on how well you handle them.

·         Caramelo Macchiato: This is a very sweet person whom very few respect. You don’t have to praise this kind to get your work done. Even if you don’t respect them, they will surely respect you. Even the highest insult will not make them angry and they never keep anything in mind. They are always peace loving and try to mind their own business. We don’t realize how good they are unless after many years, at the reunion everyone asks just one question: ‘Hey where is so-and-so Sir? Is he retired? I wanted to thank him for all the respect he gave us. I’ve understood outside school/college that the world doesn’t respect even if you give it respect. And this person used to respect us even after all we did to him. ’

·         Hawaiano: This type of teacher is least bothered about their responsibility as a teacher. They teach-go home-come back-teach-…. Working like machines without putting their head around it. All they are bothered is their salary slip and are not interested in imparting knowledge. They are bothered about the future of students and don’t put in effort to update their knowledge. This lack of interest is irrespective of whether they have or don’t have good knowledge of the subject.

·         Amaretto: This type is similar to the Irlandes but is more dangerous because you can be caught unawares by their deceptive looks. You may approach them thinking they are the usual kind, soft spoken teacher but will be in for a rude shock when you get more than you bargained for.

·         Quitafrio: They are the angriest person you have ever met. They are frustrated in life for god knows what? And will make you regret being a student. They will sting you in the face, in public and in your mark-sheet. They will never be happy with anything and will remove mistakes in everything. They hold students responsible for every wrong that happens around them. They are different from the Irlandes and the Amarettos which are much better than them. Basically it is difficult to explain one rather it is better to go and experience one for yourself.

      Whoever they may be and however they may be, teachers play a very important role in society. And that role is of making futures bright. I heard this somewhere and would like to iterate it: ‘Education and teachers are the bricks and cement of our society. A country giving less importance to these takes little time to crumble to dust.’

       A student can put in all his effort but can never give back anything comparable to what a good teacher has ever given him.

Reminding you again that this post dosent mean to show people of different regions in bad light based on their coffee they drink, considering that people are passionate about their coffee. Rather the post is based on the ingredients used in these coffees. It also not meant to be directed against teachers and is just a light-hearted post.

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